Toenail Police

As I was at the drugstore today picking up my colonoscopy prep…(ok, maybe I shouldn’t have opened with that?), I noticed this woman’s toenails who was checking out next to me.  All I can say is , OH MY GOD!!!!  No one should allow their toenails to grow out to the length where they could physically reach out with the foot and scratch your back!!  Someone call 911 and get the toenail police here ASAP, this woman needs to be arrested for sure.  I’m just glad she didn’t see me taking the picture, for sure she would have donkey kicked me and scratched my eyes out!

The New Look

I am one of those people who is CONSTANTLY wanting to re-arrange my furniture or trying to find new ways to organize my tupperware.  Sometimes I do it just to drive LOML (Love of my Life) crazy.  He calls it “my new system” when he comes home and he sees that I have emptied out all the cabinets thinking that if I move the plates to a new space it will make all of the clutter in my kitchen disappear.  I think he likes to use it as a way to get out of unloading the dishes:)   It’s a little game we play, I move everything around, don’t tell him where anything is and watch him go around the kitchen trying to find a cup.  Moving furniture is a whole different ball-game, and it usually calls for a mid afternoon call to the office to get a feel for the mood before I start moving sofas and beds around.  He is a very organized person and very neat…me? Not so much.  As I said, I am in a constant moving, reorganizing mode.  Hence the reason for the new look here- clean and somewhat un-cluttered…hope you like.  But don’t get used to it, I can almost promise you it will be different next week.

The Tugging Syndrome

Baby Boy has found a new way of communicating these days…he grabs you by the collar, shirt tail, or pant leg (whatever he can reach at the moment)  and pulls you where he wants you to go, generally grunting while he pulls. This is all very new to me- Baby Girl 1 and Baby Girl 2 never did anything like this.  I have to admit, it’s very cute, and I love watching him do it to other people.  One night last week I did not find it so cute.  I was standing at the stove cooking dinner  wearing my elastic waist gym shorts….can you see where I am going with this?  It was the great witching hour for those of us with small children, that time right before dinner when things seem to start unraveling at the seams, and BB was really quite frustrated by my lack of attention to his needs as I slaved over the hot pot of mac-n-cheese.  After several failed attempts to get me to get him a cookie, he came up behind me for what I thought may be one of his sweet hugs around the legs…no, in an attempt to “pull” me to the cookie jar- he pulled my shorts down.

Note to self: always securely tie draw string shorts/pants while around small children.

Mad Men vs. Bewtiched

Opening credits for Mad Men: Don Draper falling to his demise out of his office building in New York
vs.
Opening credits for Bewitched: Samantha flying over a city scape on her broom and wiggling her nose.

Marriage of Don and Betty: Fallen on hard times because of Don’s lies and deception to his wife.
vs.
Marriage of Darrin and Samantha: Seems unstable due to the fact that Samantha is lying to everyone about her being a witch.

More???  You tell me.

Holy cow, did you see that freight train that just rolled over me!  Wow, that was a big one!  Come on tiger, get back out there and keep it moving, two kids still need to get to bed and daddy ain’t home yet!  You can do it!!!  And if anyone is actually reading this blog, can you please contact my doctor and ask him to please reconsider the “limited” caffeine (oh, and did I mention no diet cokes- not limited, but NONE?)?  And yes, I think that he should be tested for drugs because he is obviously smokin’ crack!

Umm…. "limit your caffeine"…. you have got to be kidding me!

So, I have been having some “issues” and went to go see my doctor today.  He is making some DRASTIC changes to my diet that could possibly be hazardous to the health of all those around me (especially the four that live in my house).
HE WANTS ME TO CUT BACK TO ONE CUP OF COFFEE A DAY…AND NO CREAM IN MY COFFEE!!!!!!!! (Ok, so you see here- this means NO coffee since I don’t drink it with out cream!) I feel sure this is some cruel prank or I am being”punked” for some reality tv show.  On top of that, this all gets handed down to me the day before my girls start at a new school which requires us to all be up and out of the house by 7 am!  Yeah right, this is going to go over well in the morning…if I survive- I’ll write to tell about it.  It should read like a horror story…

Jane Austen

My new book is Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice.  If you have read it, please tell me what you think.  I have seen the movie, and now reading the book- backwards, I know.  It is not an easy read because of the language, but a wonderful story. (Funny and romantic:)!)