I had one of those mornings. The kind where everyone pretty much wakes up pissed off and there is absolutely not enough coffee, pancakes or Fruity Pebbles that will make it any better. As the school year is winding down we are all, and I mean even the dog, tired of the routine of getting up early, packing lunches, doing homework. The whole nine yards. Everyone is longing for the lazy days of summer. But still, we had one of those mornings. I won’t delve to into explaining the three darlings and what makes them tick, but parenting them can often make me feel like I have a multiple personality disorder. Each is their own person (thank the good Lord), has their own wants and routines…three very different kids all together. Which as wonderful and often frustrating at the same time- which is pretty much parenthood defined- am I right?
I had one of those mornings. I have started to go into work as soon as they leave at 7:30 so that I can leave a little early and be home when they get here in the afternoons. One darling likes to take a packed lunch to school every day and a nice hot breakfast cooked every morning. If I was really organized I would get all of this together or prepped the night before but I’m not and I don’t. I recently was talking with some other mother friends and one of them does make for her kids…wait for it…A FLIPPING HOT MEAL- FRESH EVERY DAY FOR LUNCH. I think she is pretty incredible for several reasons but this really has set her apart from the rest of us. Furthermore, I am hoping my kids don’t catch wind of this concept. As a life lesson for my children, I have tried to see how little I can do for them so that they will know how to handle things when they are out on their own in this big bad world. Also, because I have grown more selfish in my forties and feel like I should spend more time in the early morning hours drinking coffee, reading my devotional and scrolling through social media (in that order). The other morning said darling was in a particularly foul mood but I was not taking the bait. I just sat there with my Bible open reading and listening to her huff around the kitchen packing her lunch. I was not getting into it with her. I think I really just took the whole use God and the GOOD WORD as a shield to a whole new level! #winning This morning was very similar except for the part about me not getting into it with her. UGH, don’t you just hate when you take the bait? #notwinning. She walks out the back door shutting it on her brother and sister and heads to the car. No “I love you”, no nothing. (From either of us.)
I had one of those mornings. One of the fear gripping mornings. If you are a mom, you will know what I am talking about. If you are not, please do not think that I am crazy, because I don’t think that I am (well not all the time). But as a mother, I have some seriously messed up fears when it comes to my kids and I can concoct some pretty screwed up scenarios because of these fears. Raise your hand if anyone else has this issue? We don’t talk about it a lot as moms because when you do people look at you like your nuts. Except my friend Deana who I remember talking to about this back when our girls were BABIES. It was a long time ago. I say they were babies because her oldest is a senior in high school about to graduate and my oldest is taking a road trip with another friend to go see her girls this weekend! (Insert sigh of anxiety and the birth more gray hair on my head.) I’m pretty sure we were on the phone talking as we also watched Oprah that afternoon. It was the days before they were in school and we had these ridiculous schedules. We would just get together and let the kids play until it was time for our husbands to come home and then we often ended up getting take out and eating dinner together. When we talked of those fears she didn’t make me feel crazy- she made me feel normal. It’s been a long time since then and the fears have changed. The biggest one of course is that something terrible will happen to our kids and they will be taken from us and this earth. There, I said it. This was where I was this morning. It’s worse when it’s “one of those mornings” because all you can think about is you didn’t say “I love you” because you were both too pissed off. It flooded me to the point of my heart racing and palms sweating. It’s hard to recover from. But them something happened. I had already gotten to the office when the fear got really bad and I realized I had not done my devotional this morning. (Once you get into this habit and then miss a day or two…you really start to feel it. Similar to when you aren’t drinking enough water or eating enough fruits and vegetables.) So, in an effort to try and calm down I turned on a new podcast show I have been listening to called The Five Word Prayer Daily with Lisa Whittle.
Link to her website here: https://lisawhittle.com/5-word-prayers/
And as I went to my podcast app and opened up today’s show you wouldn’t believe what today’s topic was- Mom’s and our fears for our kids. I am not even kidding. I just started laughing- ok, I hear ya’ God. It was incredible how God found a way to reach me through of all things…my cell phone! (Go figure- He really does know me!:)) Please go to her blog and you can listen to it as well. (Aired on 5/8/2018 ) She explained how we can’t let the fears pile up and how we need to let God do some of the parenting. (I wish he could come cook breakfast and gourmet lunches for my kids in the mornings:)) The five word prayer for the day was “I give You my fears.” Those are powerful words. I think I am going to put them on post-it notes around my house. The range of fears we can have for our kids is far and wide. We fear they won’t have anyone to sit with at lunch or play with on the playground. We fear they will date someone that won’t treat them right. We fear they will date the person that treats them so right they fall in love and decide living with us forever is not their dream future. We fear they won’t know how to talk to people because all they know how to do is text. We fear they will never know how much we love them, even when we are yelling at them. Then, like this morning- the greatest fear is that they will be taken from us. Lisa then goes on to share the following verse that pulled me back from the ledge:
“My sheep listen to my voice; I know them and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.” (John 10: 27-28)
He does not want us to be afraid. No one can take God’s children away from Him. We need to hand over our fears to Him…He already knows about them anyway.
I had one of those afternoons. The one where all the darlings are home right after school and everyone was happy. All was right in the world and the fears were no where around. I started to go through the youngest darling’s homework folder and came across the gem of a form below from the school clinic. I have dealt with this issue before and it is also one of my GREATEST fears for my kids. If you have also dealt with it I would guess this is a fear you have as well. #bulletdodged #endingonahighnote